I know, I know I promised I’d stop laying on the heavy. But this week has been… pretty damn apocalyptic as far as life events go.
Per my mother’s advice, I’ve spent the last 24 hours (or so) trying to feel nothing but GRATITUDE for the things I still have. But the thing is, I’m pretty much left with a) basic human rights and b) the things I had before that I was really looking forward to NOT having anymore, so yeah. It’s hard to get creative and come up with new things to be thankful for.
I realize I’m being caustic here. I realize that there are starving orphans in Zimbabwe who would undoubtedly kill for my life. I also realize that there are people who continue to love me and care about me, despite my complete failure to put things in perspective.
But tell that to the rage boiling around in my insides. Tell that to the vomitous feeling I get every time I try to imagine going on like this for more than a few more hours. I have a feeling you’ll end up feeling every bit as frustrated as I am now.
In the end, I suppose it’s all about “faking it until you make it.” So you don’t feel like being foolishly optimistic. Well too bad. There are people who depend on you, and besides that you don’t want everyone avoiding you because you’re such a downer. You could distract yourself with thoughts of fanciful things, like fairies and sugar plums and magical unicorns that swoop in out of nowhere and give you a million dollars, a new job with better benefits, or a summer home in the tropics.
No, I suppose that won’t do, either. Maybe there’s an underground fight club I could join…