Cry me a river to drown you in…

Preface: Something hilarious happened at work today, and I can’t tell you about it because I’ve sworn a blood oath to my employers and the U.S. government that I would never utter any work-related anecdotes on any public or social media forum. On penalty of death, dismemberment and/or short stint in low-security women’s prison. And let’s be honest, I really can’t pull off corn rows or orange woolen jumpsuits, so…

I’m going to have to vaguely prance around the topic and use as many analogies as possible. Yay, analogies!

In the world we live in, let’s just say there dwells an entire sub-race of humans who seem absolutely dedicated to taking any difficulty that is dealt to them and blaming it on and/or punishing those of us who they deem “more fortunate” than themselves.

Now, I’m not going to go into the entire rant of society and government and the epidemic of entitlement, yada yada yada… because that would be a downer.

Instead, I’m just going to say that as someone who has spent a LARGE chunk of my life working my ass off for everything I have in this world, it did my little workaholic heart a great deal of good to see someone who–at least for once–didn’t get handed everything they wanted just because they made a sufficient amount of noise or pissed off the right people.

It was not unlike watching a spoiled five-year-old in a grocery store experience an epic paradigm shift directly after being told that no, they could not have triple-chocolate frosty toad cereal, no matter how loudly they screamed. First comes shock, then a failed attempt at eliciting sympathy by tearing up unconvincingly. Finally, a dull sort of acceptance as they realize that the one weapon in their arsenal has been rendered useless, and they must retreat.

Meanwhile I, like the proverbial supermarket onlooker, stood off to the corner and tried unsuccessfully to smother my unholy glee as the offended party stalked off (even more unsuccessfully.) However small and insignificant though it might have been, the moment tasted like victory. It even smelled a little like victory.

In that moment, life held a little more justice.

***Disclaimer: I’m not a die-hard capitalist, Nazi sympathizer, or Republican. So please don’t read any undue political message into this post. Just enjoy it in the overblown and satirical sense it was meant.

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4 thoughts on “Cry me a river to drown you in…

  1. Gee, anything I try to respond in seems to have political implication to it.

    Too bad you can’t announce over the speaker, “Tantrum in Aisle 6. Free Popcorn and a tantrum in Aisle 6.”

  2. What’s your major dysfunction?

    “Major Dysfunction!” I cry, throwing up a mock-salute.

    Gotta love the self entitled peeps who abuse the system. You know, I do have in my Possession a Top-Secret security clearance… Just sayin’.

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