***This post has been resurrected from two years ago. Now, I feel as though I can apply it to my college education with little or no shame.
When I someday sit down and write the story of my life, it will be merely the highlights–the parts that I remember, that have stood out in some way because of their importance. Moments like this, they seem so crucial when they happen, until a little time passes and then they pale in comparison with the things that last. These moments I’m referring to are the endings.
No one really knows, when a saga begins, if it will be one that continues forever. Was it a chance meeting between two heavanly beings, destined to collide and form a greater body much later in history? Do two events merely brush for a moment, and then continue on barely worse for the wear? I submit that you’ll never really know if you’ve begun an ending, or a beginning, until it ends. Or, it doesn’t.
This happens in every aspect of life. Some seem to have it figured out from the beginning, but really, they just chose right on the first try. Others of us locate our destinies by the trial and error method, finding out what is wrong only when we hit the wall and have to go back again. I seem to do this a lot more often, and in my search for the path that is truly mine to wear, I seem to have covered more territory. In this way, I am an accidental explorer of possible destinies, a traveler on walkabout who often becomes lost but is not really lost at all, because the destination is as yet unknown. Yes, in this way, I tend to earn a bit more than my share of scrapes and scars, but I also end up with more stories to tell at the end of the day.
And today is an ending. One that I will not regret, for I cannot have known. It’s true that there will always be second-guessing, on whether I should have turned back much earlier, or brought along less baggage that I will now have to lug all the way home, or perhaps whether the choice to pursue this particular path was even a strong bet. In the end, all I can do is shrug, rub some ointment on it, and shoulder my pack for another beginning. One which will hopefully end differently, or not at all.