A Treatise on How Dating Pretty Much Sucks

Okay, so here’s the beef for today. Dating sucks. There’s my thesis statement. I will now proceed to tell you all what brought this sentiment on, and then go into precisely why I have made this assertion.

For one thing, last weekend I missed (most thankfully) the wedding of two of my childhood friends. They together make a grand total of five people that I grew up with who have bitten the proverbial matrimonial dust. This is a very depressing thing. Now, before you protest, (and I know what you’re thinking: “V, what the crap are you complaining about? You’re 19, and you being not married is in NO way depressing.” And in this I would concur. However, shut up now so I can finish what I was saying, you.)

Let me explain why I find this depressing. I do not think that it is sad that they are married and I am not, because we both know that I will never marry and stop trying to make me. I am saddened, because these two individuals have dated only each other since they were small, and now they are done with dating entirely, after barely any experience in the modern dating world. I, on the other hand, also have very little experience in the modern dating world, but unlike them, I still look forward to a long, aggravating, grueling, stressful, and quite possibly painful road just littered with the kind of crap that they now get to avoid. Unfair? Most definitely.

Why? Because dating sucks. The preceding statement is based on over five years of experience on my own part, giving me the qualifications to make that judgment. I’m not saying that it sucks for everybody, all the time, (but I’m going to imply that I think a lot of people feel the way I do on this matter) but just for the sake of leaving the straw man in peace, let’s just say I’m right.

If done correctly, I suppose that it could be a really fun custom. But rather like all ancient and simplistic traditions, the pure and fun nature of dating has since been corrupted and turned into a sick and twisted game, in which the players set out strategies, try to confuse and mislead their opponent, and fight for ultimate control. In a way, dating has become like Risk, or Monopoly.

In the beginning, we all join because we think it will be fun, and who knows, we might win this time. But the more experienced players, as well as the devious game itself, knows that we are fools for the taking. The game starts innocently enough, but soon becomes tedious and difficult, and we soon realize that we’re either going to have to risk it all, lose everything, or both. In short, we will either wind up forfeiting, or “getting the s*** kicked out of us by love” as a famous poet once said. I for one would rather not play by these rules. Why can’t we just kick a can, like in the old days, hmm??? Why must it all be so frigging complicated? I quit.

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3 thoughts on “A Treatise on How Dating Pretty Much Sucks

  1. Well Miss Angst, I think you’re putting way too much thought into the dating thing. Remember those two people who are constantly blabbing about how many girls they’ve made out with or how long they’ve gone without any action? I take the anti-male rants kinda personally, because I feel like I’m getting lumped in with a group of immature kids who haven’t left highschool. At some point, these people need to grow up. You didn’t come up with a single reason for why dating sucks. You say that it’s aggravating and stressful. You also mention that it’s all devolved into a game. The real question is why you feel that it’s so aggravating and pointless. I think that we need to separate dating and making out. Dating should be based on friendship and trust. Making out is based on attraction and lust. The point of dating is to build eternal relationships, and we can’t expect to build anything eternal while we’re stuck on temporal things like making out with each other. Dating doesn’t suck. Making out sucks.I can’t claim any authority on successful dating, because I’ve wrecked my fair share of good things with too much too soon and far too little respect. When we find people whom we respect and who respect us too, we’ll stand a shot at dating bliss. I haven’t seen it with my own eyes, but I believe that it exists. I’m not even going to think about marriage until I’ve found it.

  2. And thus another lesbian is born.Also, whoah, Chris, back off buddy. I’m always having to separate you too. There was nothing anti-male in there. Just because she’s female and complaining about dating doesn’t mean she’s blaming the men. And here are some reasons she gave for why dating sucks: “But rather like all ancient and simplistic traditions, the pure and fun nature of dating has since been corrupted and turned into a sick and twisted game, in which the players set out strategies, try to confuse and mislead their opponent, and fight for ultimate control.” I would agree with that, because I’ve heard enough people of both genders outlining their plans of attack. You straight people and your stupid games. Ha.

  3. I loveda Smurf. But stop gender profiling, you bigot you. Gay people are just as crazy when the occasion permits. And as far as my rant is concerned, I think that the EMPHASIS on dating might be the problem here, and the way people go about it. Not dating itself.

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